I Am Falling Apart !!!

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I Am Falling Apart !!!

Published on Jun 13, 2020 by Prakriti Bista


The room is so bright yet I feel so dark inside. Happiness is buzzing all the way yet I find no happiness in my path. I smile. I smile so that people won’t find out I am sad because when they do they ask a lot of questions which I am unable to answer. I don’t know why I feel this way.

I have a happy family, loving friends, and a good life. But I am unhappy. I cannot share my thoughts with my parents because I feel like they won’t understand me. I cant reach up-to my friends because they might be busy. I am surrounded by people, still, I am alone. I am dealing with all the negative thoughts that have ramp up my mind. I tend to think a lot. The world is competitive so to survive I need to work hard. I have a perspective towards my life, a purpose which I need to fulfill, a goal which I need to reach but I can’t take a step further even if I try. I am unable to figure myself out, I am lost here inside my thoughts, I want to break free, I cannot reach up to that door which will lead me out. I am falling apart please help me.

I have a lot of questions, a lot of doubt in me. I feel like I cannot do it, I feel like I cannot mutter that courage up to speak my heart out. I am falling apart slowly. I want to share my thoughts, I wish somebody could help me. My life is getting darker every moment. I cannot think of positive vibes at all even if I try. I want to speak but my voice is unheard. I am screaming yet it’s in my mind. A single sound is hard to be heard from my mouth. I don’t know what is happening to me. I feel like I have no purpose to live, I cannot mend myself. I wish somebody would take me to the real path, help me out of this hell which I have created. I wish somebody was there helping me, staying by side till I feel better. Smiling faces hold the deepest secret. I am fine outside yet I get anxiety. I am getting depressed. I am holding myself hard before I fall apart completely. I think I should end my life before somebody finds out I am having trouble within me. Suicide is all I can think about. Ending my life will be the best because there is no one for me, I am all alone here, nobody understands me. All of them will judge me. I cannot take it now. Nobody will care for me. Will I be missed??

Mental health is important, so is self-love. Let’s reach out to family and friends. Let’s talk. Let’s make time for everyone and check unto them. 1 hour, 1 minute or even a second is enough for changing the perspective of people. Our 1 second can make a lot of difference in another’s life. Let’s speak up for mental health and depression. Our messages or our phone call can make a difference, can save the life of our close ones. Say no to suicide. Every life matters here.